Whether it’s just your parents, you alone, or a combination, you’ll want to know all the pros and cons of who pays for the wedding.
These days, the cost of a wedding makes a year at Harvard and Yale look affordable. How are you going to scrape together the money so you can have the bash you want? you have options — legal, time-honoured, respectable options… Here’s a rundown of some of them, plus their pros and cons. Keep in mind that a combination of two or more may be how you end up getting your wedding paid for.The Bride’s Parents Pay
The traditional and still pretty popular way of paying for the wedding.
if everyone is contributing, pool all the money upfront and then see what your bottom line is. It’s much easier than saying “mom takes care of the gown, the flowers and the band” we take care of the rest.

The Pros:
You don’t have to dip into your nest egg to pay for the wedding, which means you’ll probably be driving a better car, buying a better house and taking better holidays a year from now than your contemporaries who are paying — in full or partially — for their own wedding.

The Cons:
The person who pays ultimately gets what he or she wants which means that if you want 100 guests but your parents want 250, you’ll probably end up with at least 175 to 200 people at your wedding. Having your parents pay for the wedding doesn’t hurt your wallet, but you have to be willing to compromise on what the wedding will be like.” another downside: Having your parents pay for the wedding especially if they’re retired, on a fixed income, or just not that well off to begin with could strap them down with some major debt.

Everyone Pays
A contemporary and effective way of taking care of wedding expenses is for the two of you, the bride’s family, and the groom’s family to split the expenses. it works best, she says, if you simply take the whole cost of the wedding and divide it three ways, rather than dole out specific things to pay for: “For example, if you let your parents pay for the dinner, then they may be inclined to invite more guests. if you can’t divide it equally say one party is more or less wealthy than the other two ask that party what’s comfortable for them to give, and throw it into the pot. But just because his family, for example, is giving four times as much money as yours doesn’t mean they get four times more say. You’re handling this as a group, and one person can’t push his or her weight around.” the key to making this work, she cautions, is negotiation and compromise.

The Pros:
By pooling your resources, you may be able to afford the kind of wedding you want. you also may not have to empty your savings account to get it. What’s more, since everyone is contributing which means everyone gets a say you’re not likely to make one side or the other feel left out.

The Cons:
By accepting money from other people, you do give up some control. But there are always solutions. if you want a DJ but the parents want a band, look for a band that also works with a DJ, who can play during the band’s break. or if you want a buffet reception and your parents want a seated dinner, perhaps have food stations, but arrange for waiters to serve your parents and their friends at assigned tables,

You two Pay for Everything
More the norm than you might think. As more and more brides and grooms marry later stockpiling those Christmas bonuses, merit raises, and dividend checks more and more couples are in a good position to foot the entire wedding themselves.

The Pros:
Money talks, and as such, you will have total control over all aspects of the wedding. if you want to get married in a bikini on the beach and dance to a reggae band at the reception, you do it. Your mum may think it’s an outrage, but in the end, who does not open their wallet can’t dictate to you.

The Cons:
You might deplete your savings (and rack up some debt if you take out a loan or charge on your credit card). you also run the risk of offending your parents if you refuse their financial help. To remedy the situation, you might accept a nominal sum from them, or let them pay for something you don’t have strong opinions about say the flowers. in any event, don’t shut your parents out of the wedding planning process. Encourage their input they may even have a good idea or two compromise where you can, and stick to your guns on the things that are really important.

If anything creates problems in planning a wedding, its money to sidestep problems, you need to do a lot of communicating with your partner and both families. if you don’t, there will be trouble truer words were never spoken!

karen: Who Pays for the Wedding?